Something Off Topic

We are at….

RISK

I present you a new game. . It might help to understand what a rational external spectator, let’s call it a “Martian” looking at the Earth, would think about the treats posed to peace and stability around our planet. Who is posing treat to peace in real world.

It is a bit like Risk.

It is made of alliances, and based on what a clash of civilization.

Here are the rules:

Participants:

I considered the national expenses for defense (the real one) of the nations for the last available year. Mostly are based on 2006 or 2007. One, Pakistan, goes back to 2003.

All the 30 biggest spenders have been included.

Some extra players were added for the evil side: Afghanistan, Jordan, Libya, Syria, Cuba, and Yemen.

Groups:

The nations have been organized in 7 groups as follows:

The Very Goods:

USA, UK, Israel.

The almost as Good:

Canada, Australia

The other Goodones:

Some EU member state (only from top 30)

The Evil turned Good:

Saudi Arabia, South Korea

The Party people:

South America (only from to 30)

The free-lance:

Russia, China, Japan, Singapore, India

The Evil:

North Korea, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Libya, Syria, Cuba, Yemen, Jordan

Background:

We are in a far distant future in a far distant galaxy. Some people advocate that the Very good and the Evil will clash (hence clash of civilization)

So all the evil dudes form an alliance. So do the good ones.

Let’s imagine Afghanistan and Pakistan turning their back to the USA and allay with Iran. They will then join with North Korea and Cuba for they fight the same enemy. And as a bonus they get also Yemen involved in the fight.

Let’s say that US and strict allies is joined by the EU because they think they rather be with US then the Evil. Well to have an idea of who will win….let’s compare the military expenses of the two groups expressed in dollars.

I guess Good as better chances then evil….

Let’s see a global war. Imagining that EU will stick together. All the evil will do too. As well as US and strict allies.

South America will rise and group together. And the free-lancers….will stand as a group…China allied with Russia, Japan and India….that is going to be tricky!

Also with this type of alliances. Where EU and USA are fighting. Where China, India and Japan are allied. As well as the evil ones (ranging from Cuba to North Korea to Iran)….well looks like USA is going to kick some ass! Latin America still looks out of the game.

In this game we only consider the amount of money spent. No matter how that is spent. Whether it is for the salary of a soldier, for a gun able to kill some people, or for a missile that can kill many people. But the figures are real.

This is really what these nations have spent. Data is on internet.

Just go and check.

To conclude following is the list of military expenditures presented in a table of only the country that are spending at least 1% of USA expenditures….plus North Korea which, for every 100$ spent by USA spends about 99 cents.

One could say that there are tons of other data to consider, how the money is spent, proportion of GDP, number of soldiers, type of weapons, ect. That is for sure, but remember, even though it’s based on real numbers, this is just a game…

Anyway we can really say we are in Go(o)d’s hands.

THE HORN IS YOUR FRINED!

If you thought cricket was the national “sport” (no mistake the brackets are to indicate that cricket is not actually a sport! Otherwise hide and seek must be in the Olympics!), well it’s not. Honking is actually the national sport.

If you are driving down any of the millions of Km of “roads” (still not a mistake) of this country a horn is more necessary than a tires. I rather drive a car with tree tires but with a horn rather then 4 wheels and no horn.

A horn is like a good friend in the car. In some (rare) cases it can even save your life, but most of all it keeps you company during the drive. It “talks” more then your radio, and in a language that everyone understands.

It is used for several reasons but the most common scenarios are:

1. When ANYTHING in front of you is slower. It can be a truck loaded with a castle on it, as well as an innocent child riding his bike.

2. To signal your presence on the street whenever something faster is cutting your way or passing you.

3. As a mystic experience. Some say that the redundant sound produced by the car is used by some taxi drivers to reach the higher level of meditation. In this case however a big part of the credit for the experience has to go to the fumes produced by the cars. How the whole mechanism works is a mystery.

An even bigger mystery however is the reason why everyone is in a hurry! None comes on time and none is expected to! (I know you think that said by an Italian is funny!)

In Pakistan there is always time for chai (see previous post). So why rushing when you are on the street to get wherever you are going and stop to get a chai???

That remains a mystery.

And last senario

4. To get precedence over a same size vehicle. Bigger size vehicles in fact have precedence over smaller, but when it is a close call then the quicker to honk gets it.

Bottom line one should honk whenever is passing or is in sight of something slower, or something faster is passing him/her or for company or is close to a crossing, or changing lane or there is anything around him/her, or, lastly, whenever in doubt that any of the above is about to happened.

If in doubt whether to honk or not, just remember; no one has ever got mad for being honked at, and……horn is your friend!

Chai

CHAI

I've been living in Pakistan for about two year now. In this time I have learned some rules one should follow

Rule number1:

there is always time for chai.

Chai is basically tea with milk boiled together for as long as possible.

Any house, any office, any pubblic place has someone incharge of chai.

Chai is offered to costumer in a shop if they are sitting there for more then a couple minutes (literally). In pubblic administration offices, banks, anywhere one gets offered hot tea with milk.

Chai is triky businness because being the weather about 45°C outside with a humidity of 99% pretty much from march to November a hot cup of tea is not exactly something to cool one down.

It can't be refused. Refusing chai could be considered as rude as spitting on ones floor in the west. So far I've tried a few tricks that could save ones ass from time to time.

Usually I go for “thanks, I JUST had one a minute ago”. But if I spent already more then half hour with a person, then this excuse doesn't really work no more, because after 30 minutes is already about time for another chai.

In these occasions I usually back up with: “I can't really drink milk....”.

This, which would really work in a western country has a series of draw backs in here.

People are not usually happy to hear “you know what you are offering me really makes me sick”.

Plus lactose intolerance is not something people are aware here. In a place where children die for malnutrition, milk intolerance somehow is not common....

Some other people think I belong to some weird religion. As they don't drink wine I don't drink milk....that kind of make 'em suspicious...do I also worship cows???? And if so….then I could be Indian!!!!!!!!!!

Last, but not least, drawback....wherever there is chai there is kawa (Green tea). In which case I got to have that.

Both chai and kawa are served at a temperature of approximately 535°C in a cup of non clear origin that usually has stains that have reached voting age. These stains are there for a reason. I promise they will find the way to ones stomach and take over it in no time!