THE HORN IS YOUR FRINED!

If you thought cricket was the national “sport” (no mistake the brackets are to indicate that cricket is not actually a sport! Otherwise hide and seek must be in the Olympics!), well it’s not. Honking is actually the national sport.

If you are driving down any of the millions of Km of “roads” (still not a mistake) of this country a horn is more necessary than a tires. I rather drive a car with tree tires but with a horn rather then 4 wheels and no horn.

A horn is like a good friend in the car. In some (rare) cases it can even save your life, but most of all it keeps you company during the drive. It “talks” more then your radio, and in a language that everyone understands.

It is used for several reasons but the most common scenarios are:

1. When ANYTHING in front of you is slower. It can be a truck loaded with a castle on it, as well as an innocent child riding his bike.

2. To signal your presence on the street whenever something faster is cutting your way or passing you.

3. As a mystic experience. Some say that the redundant sound produced by the car is used by some taxi drivers to reach the higher level of meditation. In this case however a big part of the credit for the experience has to go to the fumes produced by the cars. How the whole mechanism works is a mystery.

An even bigger mystery however is the reason why everyone is in a hurry! None comes on time and none is expected to! (I know you think that said by an Italian is funny!)

In Pakistan there is always time for chai (see previous post). So why rushing when you are on the street to get wherever you are going and stop to get a chai???

That remains a mystery.

And last senario

4. To get precedence over a same size vehicle. Bigger size vehicles in fact have precedence over smaller, but when it is a close call then the quicker to honk gets it.

Bottom line one should honk whenever is passing or is in sight of something slower, or something faster is passing him/her or for company or is close to a crossing, or changing lane or there is anything around him/her, or, lastly, whenever in doubt that any of the above is about to happened.

If in doubt whether to honk or not, just remember; no one has ever got mad for being honked at, and……horn is your friend!

Chai

CHAI

I've been living in Pakistan for about two year now. In this time I have learned some rules one should follow

Rule number1:

there is always time for chai.

Chai is basically tea with milk boiled together for as long as possible.

Any house, any office, any pubblic place has someone incharge of chai.

Chai is offered to costumer in a shop if they are sitting there for more then a couple minutes (literally). In pubblic administration offices, banks, anywhere one gets offered hot tea with milk.

Chai is triky businness because being the weather about 45°C outside with a humidity of 99% pretty much from march to November a hot cup of tea is not exactly something to cool one down.

It can't be refused. Refusing chai could be considered as rude as spitting on ones floor in the west. So far I've tried a few tricks that could save ones ass from time to time.

Usually I go for “thanks, I JUST had one a minute ago”. But if I spent already more then half hour with a person, then this excuse doesn't really work no more, because after 30 minutes is already about time for another chai.

In these occasions I usually back up with: “I can't really drink milk....”.

This, which would really work in a western country has a series of draw backs in here.

People are not usually happy to hear “you know what you are offering me really makes me sick”.

Plus lactose intolerance is not something people are aware here. In a place where children die for malnutrition, milk intolerance somehow is not common....

Some other people think I belong to some weird religion. As they don't drink wine I don't drink milk....that kind of make 'em suspicious...do I also worship cows???? And if so….then I could be Indian!!!!!!!!!!

Last, but not least, drawback....wherever there is chai there is kawa (Green tea). In which case I got to have that.

Both chai and kawa are served at a temperature of approximately 535°C in a cup of non clear origin that usually has stains that have reached voting age. These stains are there for a reason. I promise they will find the way to ones stomach and take over it in no time!